whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize
