: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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