His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
