Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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