question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
