Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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