The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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