don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
