im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Randomize
