Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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