Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
