Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
