There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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