You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
