Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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