so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
