i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize