You're my little dorito
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
