worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
