i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
