so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
