literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
