I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
