I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
