Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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