Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
