If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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