i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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