So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
