There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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