i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
