GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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