It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
