i always forget guys have bellybuttons
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
