The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
