watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
