My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
