he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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