i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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