She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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