I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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