I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How external is "for external use only"?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
