some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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