We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
