I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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