I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
