Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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