i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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