I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
