i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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