Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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