Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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