Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
