so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You're like the curious george of whores
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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