and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
