I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
