I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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