Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the liver wants what the liver wants
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
