remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
