Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
