I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
