We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
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she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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