I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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